Obituary of Marilyn Gertrude McKay Truemner

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On a sunny and unseasonably warm October morning following a night illuminated by a Hunter’s moon, Marilyn Truemner died peacefully in hospital after suffering a stroke. 

Marilyn, who said she wanted to leave this world quietly like Queen Elizabeth II, would have approved of the setting, especially that her family could say goodbye in person.

She was born in Toronto on Friday December 13, 1929, on the same day and in the same hospital as actor Christopher Plummer as she would proudly let people know. Marilyn often remarked that Friday the 13th was lucky for her, as was being left-handed.

In 1949, Marilyn’s sister Phyllis introduced her to Paul Truemner, a University of Toronto dental classmate of Phyllis’s husband. According to Marilyn, it was during their first meeting Paul decided she was the woman for him.

In 1951, Marilyn and Paul married and moved to Waterloo, where Paul had established a dental practice two years earlier. Together, they raised five daughters: Heather, Susan, Carol, Jane, and Vicky. Tragically, Susan died of leukemia in 1960.

When their youngest daughter, Vicky, started Kindergarten, Marilyn began taking courses at Waterloo Lutheran University, now Wilfrid Laurier University. Financially unable to pursue post-secondary education directly after high school, Marilyn achieved her dream of completing a BA in psychology in 1979 after taking classes part-time for 10 years. She completed her master’s degree in theology in 1990 at WLU. Her strong belief in the value of post-secondary education inspired her to establish educational plans for her nine grandchildren.

As a member of the University of Waterloo’s Canadian Federation of University Women branch, she was delighted to present scholarships well into her late 80s to deserving students at high school commencements throughout the Waterloo Region.

Marilyn passionately believed in making her community a better place to live. She successfully campaigned to keep the doors open at the main branch of the Waterloo Public Library and to keep the existing hydro box on the cul de sac in front of her Lourdes Street home after providing evidence of possible health and safety dangers the new model could pose.  Marilyn literally fought City Hall as she presented the two issues to council members. 

Marilyn volunteered at Kitchener’s House of Friendship as well as Grand River Hospital, where she was an on-call chaplain for many years. She still carried her chaplain identification in her wallet.

On Christmas Eve 1985, Marilyn proudly announced to her family that she had spray painted over racist slurs on a board surrounding a downtown Kitchener construction site. Tying in the holiday, she wrote Peace on earth goodwill to all men!  For added emphasis, she underlined the word all.

Marilyn headed up the board of directors of several organizations, including the local Mental Health Society and the Probus Club of Kitchener-Westmount, of which she was president from 2010 to 2011. She joined Probus in 1994 and received her 30-year pin as a charter member earlier this year.

A lover of local culture, Marilyn supported the Kitchener-Waterloo Art Gallery and Symphony for many years.

A member of First United Church since 1951, she headed several church committees and served as an elder. She also enjoyed attending the Tuesday noon-hour concerts at the church.

In 1979, Marilyn and Paul bought a cottage on Bala Bay in Muskoka, where they and their family made 40 years of memories.  They loved to travel and visited numerous countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Africa, China, Russia, and most of Europe. Marilyn often commented that Antarctica was the only continent on which she hadn’t set foot.

Years after Paul died in 2006, Marilyn was fortunate to meet Pete Black, an accountant and musician.  They quickly bonded over their love of jazz music, family and Scottish/Irish roots. Sadly, Pete died in 2020.

Marilyn was incredibly proud of her family and would often tell us that we had reached our potential, something we all feel she did as well.  She will be deeply missed.

Marilyn is survived by daughters and sons-in-law Heather (Peter Steckenreiter), Carol (John Schnarr), Jane, and Vicky (Scott McLean). She was a wonderful grandmother to Lindsay Steckenreiter (Dan Dobson), Erin MacDonald (John MacDonald), Timothy Schnarr (Zara Schnarr), James McKay Schnarr (Kayley Davis), Max Miller (Amaris Miller), Jack Miller (Amanda Soares), and Josh, Sam and Maggie McLean. Special great-grandmother to Elle and Blake Dobson, Alex, Sebastian and Sloan MacDonald, and Layten, Locklyn, Hendrick and Holland Schnarr. Several nieces and nephews also survive her. 

She was predeceased by her husband Paul (2006), daughter Susan (1960), and Marilyn’s siblings Alan and Bill McKay and Phyllis Walton.

Marilyn’s family would like to thank the staff at Luther Village for the kindness and support shown to her over the past 11 years. Thanks also to Grand River Hospital’s 5th floor Stroke Unit’s doctors and nurses who provided Marilyn with compassionate end-of-life care.

Marilyn’s funeral will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday, October 26, at First United Church in Waterloo, followed by a reception in the Fireside Room at Erb Good Funeral Home. All are welcome to attend. As expressions of sympathy, donations to First United Church, the Canadian Cancer Society or the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation would be appreciated by Marilyn’s family.